Hello again, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of Freedom's Creed. In my very first podcast episode, I talked about the meaning of creed. I did that because the word creed is not really used very often, and of course, it's an integral part of the name of the podcast. I discussed in that brief episode about the fact that a creed is a fundamental belief. I also talked about how we can grow as a people, as a nation, if we just get back to the fundamental beliefs of our country, which center around the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, that these documents, though created at a time when not everyone was considered to be equal, my contention at the time of that episode and even now is that we can be more unified because we are adhering to what the Constitution and the Declaration says, that all men, meaning mankind, men, women, children, no matter what race you are, no matter what you look like, and you can even come from another country and be considered equal and actually become a citizen of the United States if you come from another country. I did that episode because I want people to realize that these principles are not just some fleeting thing for me. They're a fundamental core part of my being. I believe with all of my soul that if you want to come to America from another country, you can succeed because of the declaration and because of the Constitution. And if you were born here, well then there's simply no reason why you cannot attain the success that you are looking for based upon these fundamental beliefs of our country. And those things are super important to me. So when I see people or hear of people who want to get rid of the Constitution or say that the declaration only applies to a certain race and to a certain gender, I feel sorry for them. Number one. Number two, I recognize that our educational system is severely lacking. We can look at history and we should look at the things that happened many, many years and even centuries ago, and say, wow, okay, that was terrible. That was a horrible thing that happened to this group of people. Let's not forget it, let's remember it, but let's realize that in 21st century America, there is no reason, no excuse for anyone not being able to achieve what they want to in life. And speaking of life, I will be sharing something that's personal to me in this episode today. It's about relationships, and I have categorized some important relationships to me. Number one, my family, my nuclear family in particular. Number two, my extended family, number three, friends, number four, acquaintances, and number five is what I'm calling once upon a time friends. And sadly, I will be focusing on number five, the once upon a time friends. Over the last couple of years, I have tried to make contact with a friend who I met uh over 30 years ago. And unfortunately, it took a lot of time and effort on my part to try to locate this individual, which I finally did. With the benefit of social media, I was able to reach out to this individual. And I want to say that I'm trying to be very deliberate in my comments today about this personal experience of mine. But suffice it to say, social media definitely was the springboard for me to be able to make contact with this uh individual. In fact, just last month I heard from him very briefly. He replied back to me via a social media outlet, and his comments centered around seeing a picture of me, which brought back memories for him that we had shared when we first met back in the mid-1980s, which was the beginning of our friendship. We had spent three months or so participating in what I would call a shared experience. And once that came to an end, um he went his way, uh, I went mine. We saw each other again a few months later when my wife and I moved to another state. We had to go through his state in order to get to the new state where we would then take up residence. And understand now that I have not seen him since that day, and our last correspondence with each other has been over three decades ago. So it's been a long time since we've communicated or talked to each other or had any sort of interaction with each other until I received a social media reply to something that I had written to him also electronically via social media. And it's sad that we let time get away from us and we stopped communicating with each other. And you know how it is, you live life, and life happens, as they say, and time seems to fly by, and here we are these many decades later, and it's sad that we've not corresponded with each other and that we didn't keep in touch with each other. Maybe things would have been different. At least I'd like to think that things would have been different. In his brief message to me, he commented about a picture that he saw that brought back memories of when we were having the shared experience that we had, and that we had each other's back, and that our friendship wasn't political, but that somehow now it is. And he concluded that we should probably go our separate ways, but thanks for the memories. Now, to say that I was taken aback by these words would be an understatement. I was literally shocked that I was reading the words that I read. He did mention, however, that I had a great name for my podcast, so that was very much appreciated by me, of course. Naturally, after reading his comments, I felt as though I had to reply back to him, and so I did. I assured him that I still have his back, speaking, of course, in the context of us still being friends, because as far as I'm concerned, we still are. I mentioned to him that I thought that we had the beginnings of a really great friendship, and I apologized for my part in letting that sort of fade away. And there's nothing I can do about that now. I wish I would have been able to stay in contact with him, but it didn't work out that way. I let him know that I still have a letter from him from 1987. I saved this letter that he wrote to me. It's probably the last letter that he wrote to me. And in fact, that letter was the impetus for my reaching out to him at the time that I did. I let him know that I was unwilling to let our friendship go, but that I wouldn't force that upon him. I then proceeded to let him know that I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds, socioeconomic, political, religious, and cultural backgrounds. His position, near as I can tell, in the short reply that he sent to me, was that we were no longer going to be able to be friends because of politics. Now, mind you, at the time that we spent that time together for three months or so, to my memory, we never discussed politics whatsoever. We were both in our twenties and really couldn't care less about politics, at least as far as I can remember. Politics was just something that I don't think we really talked about a whole lot, if if ever. And if I'm wrong, then I certainly would need to apologize to him for that. But as I remember it, we really didn't talk about politics at all. I let him know that I thought it was extremely presumptuous that after all these years, that we have to go our separate ways all because of politics. I really didn't understand that much at all. I conveyed to him that I am hopeful that we can start a new beginning. And so I told him some quick bits about my family and how long I've been married and those kinds of things. I also let him know how impressed I am that he has his own business and even in multiple locations. So I don't care who you are, that in and of itself is extremely impressive, and I think it's a great accomplishment. And I'm really, really happy for him, and I hope that he's had the success that he desired, and maybe even more than he even thought possible back in the day. Now, it's been over a month since I last replied to his message to me, and I've still not heard back from him. Of course, I wished and hoped that he would have replied back to me before now, but he hasn't, and I can't control that, so and I wouldn't presume to do so. But it's sad to me that after all this time of not communicating with each other, that somehow we're not able to go forward because we apparently have opposing political viewpoints, as near as I can tell. And mind you, we have not, he and I, have not had a conversation at all with each other in over thirty years. All of this then begs the question, which is what do you base your friendships on? Is it politics or religion, shared experiences, personalities, a chemistry that's just unexplainable, etc. There's a lot of different things that go into who we choose to have as our friends. And there has to be a mutual effect or a mutual understanding between individuals who become friends with each other. In my case, I believe that I follow this pretty well, and that is in order to establish a friendship with someone, it's going to be based on trust, compatibility, and chemistry, even due to that which is inexplicable. We we can't explain why we're attracted to someone in terms of being a friend with that individual. In other words, sometimes we just can't explain the reason why we are friends with people. We just are. And sometimes, frankly, it just doesn't make sense, but it works. And I thought that the friendship that I had with this individual or that I had established with this individual was something like that, that it was going to work, that we would continue to be lifelong friends and grow old and share experiences with each other that are important to us and all of those things that you share and experience with good friends. But unfortunately, that is not the case. And as I said, I'm really sorry that I didn't do my part to maintain the communication with him as I should have. And after not having communicated with him for over 30 years, I still thought that he was my friend, but apparently we're no longer going to be friends because apparently we don't align politically. And it simply perplexes me to no end. I haven't been able to get this off my mind since I received this communication from him over a month ago. I just don't understand it. I'd rather have someone tell me, man, you know what? I can't stand you. I don't want to be your friend anymore. I'd rather we part ways with each other. Thanks for the memories, but I don't want to be your friend anymore. I'd much rather have somebody do that than to sort of lead me on by saying that because we apparently have these differing political views, that somehow that is going to preclude us from being friends. I don't understand. But here's what I do understand. I felt impressed to share this experience today because I'd had a conversation with an acquaintance of mine, and I conveyed to him the situation that this friend of mine that I met over 30 years ago communicated with me saying that uh we couldn't be friends anymore because we have different uh political perspectives. And this acquaintance said, You should do a podcast about that. And I thought to myself, wow, why didn't I think of that? But I I thought to myself again, I thought, yeah, I should do a podcast about that, and I I wanted to do this podcast, and so here it is. I also wanted to make sure that I protected the privacy of this individual, and I think I've done that in this podcast, and it was very deliberate that I do it that way, because I don't want to throw him under the bus, I don't want to give him a reason not to want to be my friend, other than the glaringly obvious notion that because we differ politically, that somehow we cannot be friends. So if you were having a situation like this, or you've had an experience like this in your own life, I'm very sorry. I can certainly relate to it. It's something that I had never thought would happen with this individual. I regret it, as I've said, not being able to have communicated with him all these years. And now it would seem that I will still not be able to communicate with this individual on a level that I had hoped I would be able to uh communicate with him. And that makes me sad. I I wish that wasn't the case. But as I mentioned, it's something that I cannot control. I wouldn't want to coerce this individual into doing something he doesn't want to do. So I basically said that I would give him his space, that I wouldn't uh force myself upon him as a friend, but that I would essentially give him his space and let him make the next move. There's nothing else that I can really do at this point in time other than waiting to hear back from him. And honestly, I hope I do. Life is a precious thing. We are on this planet for a number of years. In some cases, there are people who are on this earth for a very, very brief amount of time. My philosophy is that I want to try to be as kind as I can to the people that I meet, even if they treat me disrespectfully or rudely or want to be my enemy. That's still, in my view, not a reason to hate them. It's not a reason to want to uh not associate with them. I of course I'm not gonna hang out with them, we're not gonna go to dinner together. If somebody hates my guts, then I'm not gonna do anything that is going to put me in their path. That's fine. It's a choice that they make. And I think that it's their loss when they think that way or they live that way. But what can I do? What can any of us do when we can't control the situation or the outcomes of certain events? We can't control the ability of someone to like us or to be our friend. If someone is basing their friendship on us with something other than a chemistry or compatibility, or you're just a cool individual, and I want to be your friend. If there's more to it than that, and they're looking at a checklist of things that they that that another person should have in order to be a friend with them, then I believe that that's extremely short-sighted. I can be, and in fact, I am friends with people who don't think the same way I do politically or religiously or any other factor. And I don't care about that. I don't care about that. I'm friends with people because we have personalities maybe that are the same. There's a again, I keep going back to this chemistry thing, but it's it's true. There's sometimes you just can't explain it. There's a chemistry with someone who becomes your friend. And then over time, where trust and mutual respect and even love enter into the equation to the point where you have such a strong relationship with that person that there is nothing you wouldn't do for that person. In a lot of cases, in some families, the friends outside of the family seem to be more important to that individual than their own family members. Obviously, you're not going to have the same connection with somebody who's a friend as you do with a family member. And sometimes it may be even difficult to differentiate between someone who is a part of your family and someone who's a friend, because that person is so close to you and you have such a unique and intimate relationship with that person that it almost feels like they're a family member. And when it comes down to it, I mean, aren't we all kind of interrelated in some ways, though there's several degrees of separation, and that I think is a good thing. But when it comes right down to it, ladies and gentlemen, whether it's a family member or a friend, isn't the goal to strive to treat each other with kindness and respect and dignity and even love? I think so. I mean, let's face it, there are going to be disagreements. We never agree with everyone a hundred percent. I don't even agree with my wife a hundred percent of the time. We do, however, agree with each other a very large percentage of the time. And it's not because we are acquiescing to the other person, it's simply that we are so compatible that there's a lot of things that we think about that we really think alike. And I think in ultimately in relationships, whether it's your spouse or a friend or a family, another family member, that should be the goal, really, to get to a point of a high percentage of compatibility with that person. You're not trying to be that person. You're gonna be yourself, you're you're an individual, just like any, just like another person is. But to have that kind of relationship where you are compatible so completely that you're very much alike in a lot of ways. That's why you see people who've been married 50 or 60 years and who have had a good relationship in their marriage, they often start to kind of look like each other and they start to, or not start, but they think uh very much alike with each other and they're extremely compatible. And neither one of them has relinquished their individuality. It's just that they have become so comfortable with each other and so compatible with each other that it it's hard to it's hard to explain. And again, like I said earlier, there's a chemistry there that just can't be explained, and I think that's a really, really good thing. So I'm hopeful that I can establish my friendship, relationship with this individual. But as I said earlier, I've done my part and I don't know what else I can do at this point in time. And certainly hoping is not a strategy, so maybe I'll think of something else that I can do going forward. Who knows? But let me end this episode, ladies and gentlemen, with a quote from Dale Carnegie, who knew some things about how to win friends and influence people, which is, I believe, the title of a book that he did write. He said this quote You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. If you can plan it, you can do it.